Iona Community Prayers on the Camino de Santiago
“Dad, have you ever said sorry in your life?”
On the Camino, in the hours of walking in the quiet of forests or over the great plains of Burgos or La Mancha, or crossing the Sierra de Madrid or the testing mountains into Galicia, there is always time to mull over my life. For me, there are moments when my past disasters, my errors, my behaviours and my omissions come back. Life cannot be re-lived and I have recently recognised that if I re-write it I am deceiving myself. There is an abrupt realisation that I cannot undo the harm I have caused. So deep breaths of contrition seem appropriate.
I’ve not ever been burdened by guilt and when my daughter asked this question I had to admit I’d only said sorry under social pressure. I was not ready to say “sorry”.
Casillas de Marín de Abajo, after Alpera. Contrition spot.
Last year the Catholic Church restored to the “I confess”, in which we admit our guilt, the words, “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grevious fault”. The Church also went back to adding the act of beating the breast to accompany the words. Several thousands of times in my youth I said this prayer at Mass. My idea of sin then was nil and from my adolescence on it became soley associated with sex.
Now in my sixties, my weaknesses have been obvious to all, possibly except myself. The Caminos, however, helped me become open to change. Each day on my Camino I would find a place to say the short Iona prayers. One of these is a prayer for forgiveness. It is a prayer I made my own, day by day.
The Abbey Church, Iona.
Iona is the island where in 663 AD, probably, Columba set up his monastery from which Scotland was Christianised. Today the restored monastery hosts guests who form the community on the island during their stay. This ecumenical community has produced wonderful liturgies with a Celtic flavour. In the daily prayers of the Iona Community for personal use there is a Confiteor. It is one which I can say afresh each day as if I were saying it for the first time:
Iona prayer of contrition.
Every time I read these words, my heart warms to my family, my friends and enemies past and present, as well as the many loving and generous people I have met on my caminos. Above all, as a sinner, I am filled with joy. ” Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much.” (Luke 7. 40 -47) This prayer ignites the love within me.
The paths that lead to life.
By the time I was on the Camino de Levante I was praying for compassion, something I now know I had lacked. Understanding compasson came first. Learning to feel compassion, substantially different from sympathy or empathy, was a gift, a grace. Then, over months and months, maybe 15 in all, I would be struck by something that I had done in my past, with an insight into the hurt this had caused an individual. This happened over and over again. I was not consciously examining my conscience. The memories, together with a light thrown upon the hurt suffered by one of my children or a colleague or a friend, floated into my awareness, often on awaking. With this prayer I gradually became ready to give a welcome to each new revelation of the damage I had caused by my actions and words. I do feel I was being led gently by a loving guide through a gallery of my life.
In the end I have been able to say, “Sorry” to most of my family but there is work still to do.
This modern Celtic Psalm of contrition does not use the word, “sorry”: it speaks for itself. I leave you with it. It hasn’t led me to beat my breast, but, rather to repeat often , “Your presence fills me with joy.”
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